The Wonder Years…. and why I’m not sad anymore

It has been a year since the album that basically shaped me into the person I am today came out. Can’t guess the album? It’s “The Upsides” by the Philadelphia pop-punk band ,The Wonder Years. The album is filled with stories of hardship and personal struggle , yet Dan “Soupy” Campbell  always finds a way to come out intact.

Throughout 2010, I had periods of depression and a lack of  self-worth/self-esteem.  I had lost a good amount of weight since entering college ( due to a 4 day regime of martial arts training) , yet I still felt that I was unattractive and worthless.   I had my first date, kinda sorta , with a girl i really liked but I didnt know what I was doing and i think she saw right through me .  Eventually, things sorta fell apart and we stopped hanging out. I dont even know how or when to kiss . I got my first tattoo and my dad stopped speaking to me for a week. I played it off like i didnt care, but i was completely lost and deeply hurt. I was making tons of new friends , but I still felt completely alone because I felt like I couldnt let anyone know how I was truly feeling ( I still do)   Finally, I hated my college experience and didnt know what to do . Now , I guess I’ll explain what songs helped me get through those hard times.

The song ” Melrose Diner ” , basically summed up everything that I was feeling for that particular girl . We had been texting non-stop for the last couple of months and I thought everything was going pretty well but she slowly stopped texting after the “dates” and I had no idea why.  The lyrics ” I guess I’m just down, I guess I’ll be honest, I could use you around ” , were the exact words I was saying in my head.  I was angry and confused, I missed talking to someone constantly ( not to mention it was someone of the opposite sex , so i thought I was pretty cool haha) . I’ve never got a chance to talk to her about what I did wrong . Hopefully, she will read this and maybe we could talk about it . idk

The song, ” Hostels and Brothels” , helped me get through the difficult time when my dad wasnt speaking to me because I had gotten a tattoo.This was during the height of  one periods of depression and I felt like Soupy knew exactly what I was feeling   The song is about feeling alone and confused in a new land ,with new people.  Sure I was still at home, but I was new in the tattoo world and wanted to embrace it. That was quickly shot to hell by my dad’s hostility , but I fought through it. Ironically , Soupy called his dad for help. Instead of my dad telling me this , The Wonder Years said “It’s gonna get lighter,son, just wait there and see”. I did and things got better.

The song , ” All my friends are in bar bands “,  is about seeing all of your friends move on with their lives and feeling left out and alone.  Some of my closest friends were just starting relationships and although I knew I could still talk to them about anything , I felt left out. I didnt have that “special” connection with anyone and I wanted it more than anything. Also, friends were going away to college and I knew I wouldnt be seeing them as often anymore.

I hated college and missed high school a lot , my first year at St. John’s .  I had come from a small, tight-knit, all boys catholic high school and was lost at college. I didnt have any friends ( still dont) and I hated the fact that everything revolved around partying. I couldnt stand the 83729837383 frats and the hyper-masculine personas they called for. “My Last Semester ” and ” This Party Sucks “,were  fricking god-sends .  Soupy also hated the asshole frat guys and the “omg im hot ” girls .

Finally, I hit a breaking point in my life.  I realized that there was no use dwelling on the things that I hated and that i needed to do something to change them. ” Logan Circle” and ” Washington Square Park ” made me realize that.

So, do I still hate the way that I look? Yeah, but I’m working on that. Do I still have no idea what to do when it comes to romantics? Yep, sure do.  Do I still hate St. John’s ? You bet ya arse,  but hopefully my study abroad semester in Tokyo and my NYU transfer goes well. Will I continue working on my personal issues in 2011, YOU BETTER F**KING BELIEVE IT.

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About xthestraightedgeotakux

I'm a 19 year old college student . I am Straight Edge ( a drug, alcohol, tobacco, promiscuity-free lifestyle) and very proud! I am very interested in Japanese language and culture. I enjoy manga/anime and I frequent conventions
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4 Responses to The Wonder Years…. and why I’m not sad anymore

  1. Tae Bones says:

    I’ve heard of this band before but haven’t taken the time to listen. After reading this post I most definitely will. I love, love, LOVE seeing people who appreciate music in the same way that I do — relating it to everyday life. It’s how I get through the hardest of times. Life’s such a bitch that sometimes the only thing that helps is knowing that someone understands your frustration and pain. Great post! Very inspiring.

  2. studiosmartgem says:

    Chin up, brah. ❤
    No really.. I liked this post a lot.

    Moving out of the country really made me think of who I was and what kind of a person I wanted to be. It helped me realize where I was standing. Who my real friends are. How much of a hypocritical selfish brat I was.. and how I probably still am. (lol)

    I'll probably blog about that later.. when I eventually muster up enough emotional strength. ^^

    That said.. I wish you the best. Really, I do!
    I'll be looking forward to your journey.. your adventures.. your self-discovery!
    It's really amazing how time away from everything can clear one's mind.

    I know you'll do just fine~

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